Ok, if you’re wondering why you sometimes butt heads with your significant other… or you are interested in the ways you love vs. the way your partner shows love (in order to keep it smooth sailing at home), then check out this excellent book by Gary Chapman with a corresponding website chock full of resources:
The 5 Love Languages
For my ADD friends, here’s a quickie overview of the 5:
1. Physical Affection,
2. Words of Affirmation,
3. Quality Time,
4. Gifts and
5. Acts of Service
I really encourage you to take the 10-minute test on the website to find out your top preferred ways of being shown love. If you can get your partner to take it too, then you two will really start understanding the best ways to approach each other when showing your love. Trust me, I’ve heard it over & over as being one of the best tools to boost partner relations, as the 5 Love Languages continuously pop up as a topic on the dating podcasts I’ve been doing.
Here’s an example: Fred works long hours every week, and works hard because he wants nothing more than to provide for his wife/partner, Betsy. He returns to the house very late one night, and he immediately makes Bets close her eyes. He then surprises her by putting a little gift into her hand that he picked up that day. Bets opens her eyes, has a supremely lukewarm response to the gift, goes to bed (with no nooky for Fred), and gives him the cold shoulder…until the weekend! Fred is dumbfounded and thinks, “WTF?? I’m working my arse off AND buying this woman gifts to show her I love her, and then she’s reacting like a beeatch!” He feels defeated and Bets shuts down. Well Fredster, turns out the B’s main Love Language is probably “quality time”, so she simply wants you to come home sooner and be with her, whether it’s just sitting on the couch and watching tv, or cuddling in bed! A gift isn’t the way she prefers to be shown love. It just doesn’t resonate with her.
See how these different ways of wanting to be loved and showing love can cause misunderstandings in relationships? Check it all out for yourself! Then, if you like, send me your thoughts and experiences on this awesome resource and how it’s worked for you. Maybe we can get you on a podcast with me to talk about it! I’d definitely LOVE that!
Have a nice weekend, peeps. xoxo