I host dating podcasts (soon to be on iTunes and can’t wait!), so I think about relationships a lot. And this article on YourTango totally caught my attention and is timely in terms of what my gal friends and I have been recently chatting about, so I wanted to share it with all of you as well, and hopefully spark some thinking on the topic.
I think there are many reasons why a woman may lose interest in a man or be very hesitant to get involved with him. Sometimes it’s a lack of physical chemistry and she can’t help but to see you as a friend. Sometimes it’s because you thought it would be attractive to send her penis pics after 2 dates. But the big one for me is if she’s not feeling safe with you. As James Michael Sama writes, “She needs to know she can count on you, that you will be there, and that you are the real deal.” Hooray, James! Yes, indeed! ‘Tis true that a good woman is not going to automatically let a guy move in to have a relationship with her television and couch instead of her, or allow him to show up only when he is in a mood for sex or some chill company.
Good gawd, I love discovering when a man is the real deal, a seeming rarity in the big city of L.A. It goes without saying, once a woman knows she can count on a guy and feels safe with him, all kinds of good things will happen for that man. He’ll finally get that chillaxing company and the laid back woman he can mess with, because he took time to prove to her that she can be safe and let herself go with him. So guys, don’t be afraid to put some effort in, beyond bringing over a bottle of wine and some chocolates. And it really is ok to get to know her beyond her looks! Yes I know, it takes time and effort and doesn’t happen magically overnight (boo!!), but if you really care about the woman, it will be well worth it. I promise. 🙂
With no further adieu, here is the article that prompted my sharing. Feel free to send me your thoughts, comments, etc. Oh, one more thing: if you’ve got a great story that you’d like to share about your relationship, contact me to get on the podcast!!
James Michael Sama’s 10 Ways Men Push Women Away: